Awkwardness and Loneliness

Today was another day that reminded me that I'm kinda lonely. I realized I haven't had a kindred spirit kind of friend since I got married. My husband is definitely a kindred spirit, but I don't have a girlfriend kindred spirit. I went to a surprise birthday party this morning and it was fun. But I left feeling so out of place (like I have felt pretty much everywhere we've lived since we got married). I know I have friends and very nice acquaintances, but I long for one dear friend who finds me interesting and who I find equally interesting. I have decided that it is far harder to find that sort of friend now that I'm married and am a stay-at-home mom. But I wish I had someone that I could just call out of the blue for no good reason and not have the phone call feel awkward.

Maybe someday I'll have that close kind of friendship again like I did when I was in high school and college. One that I can be myself - good or bad - and know that that person still loves me and though they may think I'm weird, they still want to spend time with me.